Ten Second Reader
August,2006, Volume 2 Issue 1

Different Expectations
Practically Speaking
Trying Differently
Curiosities
Resources

Different Expectations

The thing that I like about people with FASD is how sincerely they live in both success and failure. They don't usually meet human expectations on their own, but if given the space to be wrong, they are quick to try again. It's enviable!

It's impossible for me to go back to my mother's womb, so I can't believe that sincerity is exclusive to people with a disability. I've struggled to meet society's expectations, but I'm done with it! Where's the freedom to fail? FASD responds to its environment… "my legs just took me," "I found this, do you want it?" Maybe the difference is that I usually react to my environment.

I'm not justifying all the actions of people with FASD or a general attitude of "I can do anything I want because my Spirit said so." But what if I could learn to live in the moment? Respond to and participate with sincerity in my environment? It might mean a different way of seeking support from people. The Spirit, my Sister, Spouse and Friend might let me live in my obedience or my mistakes. We might all be less judgmental and the consequences would be appropriate, timely and relevant. That's FASD friendly.

Ready? I decided to consult the Spirit for myself, told someone what I thought I heard and we set about moving in that direction. It felt like conflict and I wanted some space or some laws to guide me. It was uncomfortable when someone questioned my motives and I thought "that's judgmental!" Every understanding or boundary I'd ever set was challenged, and suddenly I was the two year old asking for candy in thirteen different ways.

Set. Could I face the truth? I'd learned to be silent about certain kinds of truth, but I realized that wasn't freedom! I was tired. Of carrying grudges, being held responsible for other people's reactions, waiting for others to do something right and doing life by myself. Maybe I'd check in with my supports.

Go. I practiced listening to my supports. Responding. Succeeding and failing. Sincerely laughing and loving. FASD seemed less different somehow.

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Practically Speaking

Let's Talk FAS was put out by the Victorian Order of Nurses and the Public Health Agency of Canada's FAS/FAE Strategic Project Fund. This is a parent-driven approach to caring for children with FASD. Sections 5-9 are likely more helpful for adult children, but it's good information overall and can be downloaded free from http://www.von.ca/FASD/index.html.

FASD tends to challenge our basic understandings and boundaries on all levels; mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If you're in need of some refreshment in regards to thinking about faith, hope and love there's some good articles to download free at the link below.
http://www.simplechurchhappens.net/simple_church_resources.php

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Trying Differently

A Guide for Daily Living and Working with FASDs and Other Brain Differences, Edited by Debbie Trudeau, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Society, Yukon, 2005. Call the MCCM FASD office to reserve yours! The following tips are from the guide...

--Trying differently means to expand your range of options and move from punishing behaviours to understanding them and to changing the environment and your expectations of the affected individual. It also means shifting from changing people's ‘symptoms' to changing the way that we react. P.4
Start each day as a new day
—let go of what happened yesterday. P.5
--Words to Use: Get your body in control (a phrase she can visualize) instead of Calm down. Initially you will have to show her what it means to have your body in control—it means to quiet, no screaming, no thrashing around, etc. P.11
--Don't expect independence, work towards successful interdependence. P.34
--How to tell peers about your disability: Remember you're not the problem, you have a problem. P.55
--Going through the diagnosis process may help with parents' healing—it is important that everyone be respectful and non-judgmental of parents. P.81
--Celebrate the good feelings (however fleeting). P.86

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Service Opportunity

Volunteers are also needed to spend 1-3 hours per week providing visits
(read more)

Events

FASD celebration
photo gallery

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Resources

MCC Manitoba's FASD program provides the following resources:

• faith-based information and workshops to help communities understand FASD and learn how to support affected families.
• staff and volunteer support for adolescents and young adults who are trying to build a life in their communities.
• faith-based supports for adoptive and birth families living with FASD.

Program staff and volunteers will:

• help individuals to plan and manage their lives,
• spend one-on-one time with each individual and
• create and coordinate support circles for each individual.

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How about you?

• invite MCC Manitoba's FASD Program to your church to do a presentation.
• communicate with families living with FASD in your community and find ways to support them.
• consider volunteering.
• think of your work place. Would your organization be willing to hire an individual living with FASD?
• make a donation to the FASD program through MCC Manitoba.
• contact the FASD program for inforamtion about FASD.
• speak to or write to your government representative about the importance of providing services for all individuals living with FASD.

Learn more about FASD at http://www.mcc.org/fasd

Read past issues of Ten Second Reader -

January2006 April 2006

Read the 2006 Annual report

Communities Trying Differently!