Mennonite Central Committee

Abuse of Older Adults

August 2007

Abusers believe themselves to be “central, superior and deserving” and we live in a society where youth is idolized – which can contribute to the younger generation in a family believing that they are central, superior, and deserving. So it is not surprising if the next generation, or the one after that, feels it deserves the wealth Grandma is "witholding".

"She doesn't need it," or "it will all come to me anyway" are common explanations.

So in one family, nephews who were expecting to inherit from their childless uncle became alarmed when the old man entered an expensive supported living facility. Using their Power of Attorney they tried to have him moved to a cheaper place. But their uncle's witnessed contract with the care facility specified that he could stay as long as his money held out. Since he was capable of making his own decisions when he moved in, the nephews were not able to protect their inheritance at the expense of their uncle's wellbeing.

That story had a happy ending for the older person, but many don't. In one case, when the wreckers came to demolish a house sold to them by the owner's daughter under an enduring Power of Attorney, they found the confused older man still living there, entirely unaware that his house had been sold. His daughter had moved to another province without providing for his care. Her excuse apparently was that it was “payback time” for the abuse she had suffered as a child. That case has not yet been resolved.

These stories highlight the fact that when older persons suffer financial abuse, the perpetrators are often family members. Joint accounts are another “easy access” mechanism for unauthorized withdrawals of assets. That arrangement looks like a safety mechanism for having bills paid, but the bank's automatic payment plans are safer.

Bankers, lawyers, notaries, realtors and other family members need to be watchful, but seniors need to be responsible. Prevention is better than the grief which will follow misappropriation of funds. Before giving financial power to a younger relative, ask:

• Is this person living beyond his/her means or does s/he have personal financial needs?
• How trustworthy is s/he?
• Is there a third person I can assign to monitor any transactions made in my name?

If a financial arrangement proves unsatisfactory, and a change has to be communicated, the senior should always have another person present for the announcement. Abuse escalates, and frustrated expectations can trigger anger and even violence; so it's important to be prepared.

Donna Stewart, North Vancouver, B. C.
A former Board member of MCCBC, Donna wrote the script and the facilitator's manuals for the B.C. Coalition to Eliminate Abuse of Seniors video Money Matters for Seniors.

 

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