Men Working to End Violence Against Women
by Elsie Wiebe Klingler
There are many things each of us can do to help put an end to violence against women and to help build a culture of non-violence. Often this task is left to women though increasingly, groups of men are organizing and strategizing to honour women by helping to put an end to violence against women.
Some of these tasks listed below would not be suitable tasks for a woman experiencing abuse as it is often not safe for a woman to confront her abuser. It is helpful to remember that a woman living with abuse in an intimate relationship is the expert on her own relationship. Only she will know best about how she has experienced the abuse, how the cycle of the abuse impacts her, the patterns of her partner's abusive ways and whether it is safe to confront the abuse or not. Her tasks may rather be to focus on what it is she can do to find support for herself and to plan for her own safety.
Things Men Can Do To End Violence Against Women
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Approach gender violence as a men's issue, involving men of all socioeconomic and racial backgrounds. View men not only as perpetrators or potential offenders, but as empowered bystanders who can confront abusive peers.
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Do not harass, bully, threaten or insult women. Challenge the men you know if you hear of them doing any of these things. Make sure that they know its not okay with you. Consider how you can challenge this destructive behaviour.
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Have the courage to look inward. Understand how your own attitudes and actions may perpetuate sexism and violence, and work to change them.
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If you suspect that a woman close to you is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can be a support. Learn of professional resources available in your community to support those who have experienced abuse.
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Be an ally to women who are working to end all forms of gender violence.
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Attend programs, take courses and read about masculinity, gender inequality and the root causes of gender violence. Educate yourself and others about how larger social forces affect the conflicts between individual men and women.
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Listen carefully about what women have to say about their lives. Take them seriously as experts on sexism. Analyze your power position relative to women friends. You almost always have more. Find ways to equalize this as much as possible.
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Don't fund sexism. Refuse to purchase any magazine, see any movie or buy any music that portrays women in a sexually degrading or violent manner. Protest sexism in the media. Pornography, other media representations of women, insulting jokes and comments made to about women also contribute to this society which fails to disapprove of violence against women.
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Mentor and teach young boys about how to be men in ways that don't involve degrading or abusing girls and women. Lead by example.
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