Mennonite Central Committee

Christians and Churches Responding to Family Violence

by Elsie Wiebe Klingler

Through the prophet Isaiah, God promised, "my people will abide in peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quite resting places." (Is 32:18) When will we see this promise fulfilled? How can we as Christians and ministers of God's reconciliation in the world use our gifts, resources and power to end family violence?

Recently I attended a seminary course focusing on family violence and contemporary Christianity. Dr. Nancy Nason-Clark, who taught the course, is a sociologist and committed evangelical Christian whose area of ongoing study focuses on ways churches work to address family violence issues. Studies all over the world, employing a variety of research and data collection methods indicate that family violence is still a major issue, all over the world. The data shows that even in Christian homes family violence is no lower than in non-Christian homes. The World Health Organization says that one in five women around the globe is physically or sexually abused in her life time. At least one out of every three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused in her lifetime — with the abuser usually someone known to her. ¹ That's a staggering number.

One of the things we can do to protect and preserve the health of congregations and of family units is to speak out against family violence and abuse.

At MCC, those of us who work in programs dealing with issues of violence and abuse, regularly receive calls and emails from women affected by abuse in intimate relationships. The abuse may be physical, sexual or mental. Always, the situation is unsafe and very scary for the person(s) experiencing the impact of abuse.

One of the ways we can help prevent abuse and be agents of healing, support, safety and comfort to a person experiencing abuse, is to remind each other of teachings from Scripture that speak out against abuse. Scripture has often been twisted to justify abuse, yet the Bible is clear that abuse is not God's intention. Scriptural teachings are an incredible source of strength and hope for Christians experiencing abuse. To any who are prone to abusive behaviour,Biblical teachings and principles can strengthen our resolve to learn to be loving and respectful rather than controlling, harmful and dangerous. Speaking out against abuse in personal conversations, in small study groups and especially from the pulpit, is a very effective, powerful way to work at abuse prevention and to increase safety in homes, congregations and communities.

Several years ago, World Evangelical Fellowship, Task Force on Abuse Against Women, compiled a brochure entitled God Speaks Out Against Abuse. The brochure lists words of comfort and healing from Scripture which can offer hope and clarity in situations of domestic violence. These scriptures are a source of life-giving Good News to anyone living with the darkness that surrounds violent and abusive behaviours. Below are some of those scripture verses and principles that can help shape our conversations, lessons and sermons as we proclaim the Good News for living out peace in intimate relationships...

• The Bible calls for loving responsible relationships between members of the family, with honour and industry providing for the needs of the other
  Psalm 128:1-4; 133:1-3; 1 Timothy 5:8
• Intimacy requires equality and mutuality. Sexual communion requires mutual consent
  1 Cor. 7:3-4
• God's plan is that the home should be free of oppression
  The passage Isaiah 54:4-15 creates a helpful context, ending with:
  "In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near you."
• Physical violence and verbal abuse are forbidden by God and inhibits the prayers of the one who is abusive
  Isaiah 58:4-6, Matthew 5:22. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6
• Misunderstanding of the concepts of headship, submission, and hierarchy should not be used to justify abuse
  Matthew 20:25-28, 2 Peter 3:14-16 1
• Silence, secrecy and concealment are not God's way of dealing with problems
  Matthew 10:26, Ephesians 5:13-14, James 5:16 Also see: Luke 8:17, Luke 12:2-3
• The church is charged with the responsibility to address situations of abuse within its own community
  Galatians 6:1, Thessalonians 5:14, Matthew18:15 — 17 and Titus 3:10.
• While Christians may in some circumstances risk their lives for the sake of the gospel, they should not be exhorted to remain or return to life-threatening situations that might be avoided
  Romans 16:3-4, Mat 4:5-7, Acts 9:23-24
• Sometimes separation is the best course for the safety and peace of family members and the following texts provide some examples of Jesus or others fleeing for safety reasons
  Acts 12:1717; Acts 17:5-10; Acts 19:29-31, 23:10, 12 -24;
• Forgiveness is the work of the Holy Spirit.For the abuser, it must be preceded by true repentance measured by honest accountability. For the abused, forgiveness is part of the healing process and will take time and perhaps distance. Changed attitude and behaviour rather than tears, extravagant gifts or desperate promises bespeak genuine repentance
  Matthew 3:8, Luke 3:8
• Exploring the story Joseph and how he interacted with his brothers who sold him as a slave provides some helpful examples for helping us understand what can often be a very long journey towards forgiveness.
• The church should be an agent of healing for the offender
  Acts 16:36-40; 1 Cor. 7:5
• Godly men and women are called to acknowledge the prevalence and severity of abuse, to respond compassionately to those who suffer and to aid in their healing through practical and spiritual support
  Is 58:6-7, Ecclesiastes 4:1

 

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¹ Krugeral, 2002. World Report on Violence and Health,Geneva: WHO 90-91
www.who.int/violence_injury_prevention/violence/global_campaign/en/ipvfacts.pdf

Men also have contacted us to inquire about referral services for male survivors of sexual or other types of abuse though much less frequently. While we recognize that some men are victims of husband battery and some women are perpetrators of that violence, the data from around the world reveal that the overwhelming majority of victims of spousal violence are women and the overwhelming majority of the perpetrators are male. Injuries sustained by women are far more frequently serious or fatal.

The Task Force on Abuse Against Women Team members who created the brochure included: Winnie Bartel, USA (chair); Mary Bassali, Egypt; Esme Bower, South Africa; Janice Crousse, USA; Margaret Jacobs, Australia; Catherine Clark Kroeger, USA; Lee Enge Lee, Malaysial Ksenja Magda, Croatia; Leela Manasseh, India; Judy Mbugua, Kenya; Gwen McVicker, Canada; Olly Messach, Indonesia; Nancy Nason-Clark, Canada; Grace Nedelchev, Bulgaria; Sharon Payt, USA; Holly Sheldon, Singapore; Lucett Thomas, Costa Rica; Blossom White, Jamaica.

 

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